Awesome question, Kelly! First of all, let me just say that I am, by no means, a legal expert so my advice/opinion is strictly based on my own personal experience.

With that out of the way, I absolutely believe the biggest mistake anyone can make in a divorce is immediately agreeing to their spouse's requests and demands in order to make things amicable or because they feel guilty for causing the divorce. What I mean is, agreeing to be the one who leaves the marital home (you'll never get it back), letting your spouse continue driving your car (you'll never get it back), or moving out without taking any furniture or household belongings with you (you'll never get it back). In the very beginning of our divorce, my ex-husband did all of these things which allowed me to royally screw him over at a time when my sole motivation in life was to royally screw him over. His willingness to roll over and play dead did him absolutely no favors.

Unless you enjoy getting screwed over, the divorce process is definitely not the time to play nice guy or girl. Basically, just about every decision you agree to prior to speaking to an attorney or judge is setting a precedent. That's a very bad thing if you've agreed to something you don't really want to agree to and here's why. Family court judges don't really care about you. Not because they're heartless human beings, but because their day is loaded with other cases just like yours and some of those cases are a billion times worse than yours. They don't have the time to worry about you or think long and hard about the fairness of their rulings. If your case gets to the point that you have to actually stand in front of a judge and plead your case, like ours did on more than a few occassions, then whatever precedent you've already set is what you're probably going to end up with in the final order. Judges don't really like to shake things up, especially if there are children involved.

I hope all works well for you.

Sincerely,

R. Owens