By Alec the Science Kid

 

After two million ratings were given for over 40,000 joke entries submitted by people in more than 70 countries, British psychologist Richard Wiseman was finally able to reveal what the scientifically-proven funniest joke in the whole entire world is.

 

So here you go…

 

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911. “My friend is dead! What should I do?” The operator replies, “Calm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that he’s dead.” There’s a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, “Ok, now what?"

 

Bada bing, bada boom!

 

And, here are the runner-ups:

 

• Two ducks are sitting in a pond when one says "Quack!". The other duck quickly responds, "I was going to say that!"

 

• Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

 

• Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover? Because you should never press your luck.

 

• A piece of straight, clean string goes into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The barman serves the drink, the string downs it and walks out. Ten minutes later a dirty, twisted, ragged piece of string walks into the bar. "Here - are you that piece of string that was just in here ten minutes ago?" asks the barman. "No" replies the string, "I'm a frayed knot"​.

 

• A group of Chess enthusiasts were kicked out of a hotel reception for discussing their winning games. The manager can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

 

• Before you criticize someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.